“Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.”

I probably should be sleeping, but like most nights, I can't turn my brain off. One guess as to what I am thinking about? Yep, my kiddos.

I was unpacking boxes, stumbling on pictures, letters, drawings, and naturally feeling incredibly nostalgic. After a few hours of work (and a few tears) I made it to the kitchen, where several more boxes loomed on the counter. Staring. As if they knew me to be a crazy person...one who thinks its a good idea to unpack everything all in one night. They knew. I couldn't give in. I stared back at the boxes, wondering... "should I really? Once I start on these I won't be able to stop." Just as I was about to pop the first one open, I looked up at my bulletin board and saw a stack of letters, held together by a purple, flowery clip. I immediately stepped away from the boxes and grabbed the letters. As I unclipped the stack of tiny, white envelopes, I put my back against the kitchen wall and slid myself down onto the cold tile. I took the first letter from the top of the stack, unfolded the overly folded notebook paper, and started to read...


Dear Anfernee,


          My motiyation was to keep trying. When I grow up I want to run a buisness company or have a job at a business. If it doesnt work out, I want to be a scientist. I always wanted to get straight A's even do I have A's and B's. I hope I get the money to go to college. I also hope I get my degree.


                                                                Sincerly,
                                                                       Anfernee



My heart burned. I folded the notebook paper back just the way I had found it and slid it back in the envelope. I put the letter down and reached for the next one...    
   
                                                                                                            (Zarion in front of the 100% wall)



Dear La Zarion,


         My big goal is to make all A's. My motiyaytion is to pass every grade in the world. The reason why is because I want to make my mom proud.


                                                               Yours Turly,
                                                                        Zarion 







 The boxes waiting on the counter didn't matter anymore.



    



(Taneja with her 100% paper)

Dear Tanjea,


          I want to go to college and graduate high school because I want to have a success in life. I am motivated by my mother and father. I felt successful with I got a 100% on my test.


                                                             My Love Taneja 4 ever





I managed to crack a smile, thinking of Taneja holding her green marker, signing " My love Taneja 4 ever." My eyes watered, my heart was still burning, and I had a still smile on my face. I leaned my head against the wall and stared at the ceiling fan, spinning and blowing hair across my face. Without looking, I reached down and grabbed the next letter. Arkem.





Dear Arkem,


        I was successful when I score good on my test, and if I got a question wrong Ms. Hall would help me so when I get them right or she would explain it to me so I could understand. I feel good when I go to the board. I don't feel shame cause if I miss one Ms. Hall would explain it to me so when I go to college I could remember the answer so that I can pass so I could play for the NBA to be a pro.


                                                           Sincerly: Arkem




After reading several more letters I realized that for the first time in days I was living in the present. I was on my kitchen floor, reading letters I had my students write to themselves on the last day of school. I was simply present. Not stressed, not worried. I paused, reached down, and grabbed the last letter. Daryl.




Dear DJ,                                                                                              


         I am 11 years old goin to the 6th grade I am tryin to grow up to be a man but I have to finnish school first but my big goal is to make all As for the 6 grade and to finish high school I am goin to college and stay there for about 5 years so I can go to the nba that what I am really goin for. My mom wants me to go to the NBA and that is what I want to do any way, but also college.




                                                              Daryl



On the last day of summer school, I had my students write themselves letters describing what motivates them in school, what their big goal is for next year, and/or a time they felt successful in summer school. We practiced addressing envelopes (went through probably 50 in the process!) and then they all wrote themselves letters. I have the letters and will be adding in a little note of my own and then mailing them to each student in the middle of the school year.

These short letters are a glimpse into the hearts and minds of my students. Owning a business, being a scientist, wanting to graduate and go to college... out of the 19 letters that I collected, 17 wrote something about graduating high school and going to college. Completely unprompted. The 2 that didn't write about college talked about wanting to have successful lives and happy families.

My kids (like any other students) have huge dreams. I can't help but think about all the obstacles they are going to face (and already are facing)...that will stand between them and realizing those dreams. Will they have the support, the resources, the drive and motivation to break through, walk over, go around, or crawl under those obstacles? How many times will they get up after being knocked down? How much can an 11-year-old take? Let me tell you one thing... their resilience is nothing short of inspiring. Every one of my students has a story, and they are remarkable. I draw strength from them literally every single day. I guess that is the point of this entry. In honor of my students.

I start teacher workdays tomorrow, and my new students come in next Wednesday for the first day of school. Lots of people ask if I am worried or nervous, especially because this particular class of 8th graders are supposed to be REAL "trouble makers"...whatever that means.

My answer is mixed. I am waiting in anticipation and incredibly excited, but I am not nervous. Mostly because I think of my summer school students. "Mi Haa. Can you call my dad and tell him what we learned today and how good I did?"...."Mi Haa. I wanna go to college, Ma'am. Ain't nothin bout this place I like. I just wanna go to college." ....my kids dreams are too big, too real, too urgent.... I don't have time to be nervous. I don't have time to worry about how every little thing is going to go on my first day. We have work to do. Plain and simple. My kids need 100% of me...my effort, my heart, my mind. I don't want any of myself to be consumed by nerves. For a while there, that was definitely wishful thinking. But, after reading my kids' letters, the nerves disappeared. I am doing this for them.

I think it is pretty obvious that I made an incredible bond with the students I had this summer. The marks they left on my heart will be there forever. Next Wednesday I will start all over again with a fresh group of 8th graders. 90-100 total. All of them have dreams, all of them face their own challenges and have chosen different ways to handle the things that come their way. Every one of those students needs someone to care about them. Someone to show them that they matter. Someone to value their ideas and who they are as growing adults. Someone to relate to even the smallest things, while simultaneously offering a greater perspective.

I guess my biggest hope is that I can be all of those things for all of my students. Sure, it is lofty. Probably naive, optimistic, and overly idealistic too. Fits that overgeneralized description of a first year teacher. You could probably say and think the same thing about our big goal... a 100% pass rate of our end of grade exam (EOG). 100%. I will not stand in front of my class and set a goal lower than 100%. You walk into a room and say "our big goal this year is going to be for 80% of you to pass the EOG in reading and writing"....what about the other 20%??? And how many kids think in their head that they are the other 20%. Not in my class.

Our goal is 100%. Even if we fall short, my kids will go through the entire year feeling and working as a part of that 100%. They will never get the chance to think about falling in that percentage of students who don't pass. They deserve 100%.

I will proudly accept the label of the naive, over-zealous, optimistic, idealistic first year teacher. I smile because my Delta students made me that way, and my Warren students are going to keep me that way.

100%. Simple.

I am not scared to fail, and I want my students to experience that same freedom... hence our class theme....

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”


Prayers for courage....something my students already have.

A little town called Warrenton

I am overwhelmed with gratitude. 

I attempt to figure out why, and can't really pinpoint it, but I know it has something to do with where I am. Twenty days ago I had no idea I would be living in a little town called Warrenton. Warrenton, North Carolina is a tight-knit community that boasts a population of 811 strong!  In all honesty, I feel like I have stepped onto the scene of a movie. The history here is so rich, so old, and readily felt. 

Downtown is one street... cleverly named "Main Street". Main St. is lined with small shops that sell anything from old antiques, to flowers and school uniforms. There are brick sidewalks, window boxes, and handmade signs! Churches have been built on most every corner, and there are a total of three restaurants one can choose from (one even has wireless internet!). The large, brick courthouse marks the center of "downtown" and stands proudly, surrounded by a beautifully landscaped lawn.

Warrenton is quaint in every form of the word. The houses are old, and most have large front porches furnished with wooden rocking chairs.  White picket signs are staked outside of houses registered as "historic sites" and are literally everywhere! Houses stand that were built as far back as the 1790s. I can only imagine the memories held inside those walls.

When I drove to Warrenton for the first time, my car was packed literally from front to back, floor to ceiling. Tito was pacing around the back seat and definitely done with the long drive. We started in the mountains of West Virginia, made it through several cities, and finally onto two-lane roads, surrounded by fields as far as the eye could see. All of a sudden there was a little sign on the side of the road that said "Welcome to Warrenton." That saying would prove to be quite a popular theme over the next few days.

I made it to my house (which I had committed to over the phone, sight-unseen) :)...and my heart jumped. Big red porch, large yard, and ROCKING CHAIRS!!! Tito jumped out and "marked his territory" :)

My landlord showed me around, and as he was leaving, said proudly, "Welcome to Warrenton. We are so happy you are here."
He left and I started moving things in. About ten minutes later, two of my neighbors came outside and said "Welcome to Warrenton!!!"Their exclamation was followed by a thirty minute conversation about how in the world I got here! Naturally I explained that I was a new teacher at Warrenton Middle School! The typical response here is an enthusiastic, "Well, Honey, Bless you!" followed by a flood of other questions! My neighbors followed suit.

Reader's Digest Version: A typical "Welcome to Warrenton" conversation starts with a great big smile, a full-armed wave, and a swift and simultaneous walk toward you (with no bother to look both ways when jogging across the street). Quick introductions, handshakes and/or hugs, are followed by the famous "How'd you get here?" question. I respond with anything that involves the word "teacher" or "teaching" and eyes light up! Many people will tell you about their kids, nieces, nephews, or grandchildren who go to Warren County Schools and ask you if you have them in your class :) I explain, "I don't have my roster yet, but I would be honored to have them!"  Many people then explain how they have lived in Warrenton, "all my life" and graduated from Warren County High School in (insert year)!

Everyone has something different to share about the area. Some tell me stories about the history of Warrenton, others offer suggestions for everything from grocery stores to churches. More tell me about their families and attempt to give me directions to ALL of their relatives houses! :) I have been offered food, sheets, brownies, "protection" (my personal favorite), someone to watch my house, babysit Tito, drive me to church, water the plants on my porch, mow my lawn...the works!! Since the minute I stepped out of my car in Warrenton I have been completely overwhelmed by the hospitality here. It just fills your heart, and literally makes you a better person!

I go on runs around the neighborhood and literally feel compelled (in the best way!) to wave to every single car that passes! A few times I will beat them to it, but every single person waves back (most wave first- kindly reminding me to get on it! I am in the south now!). For all of you reading this who are back in California... get this started please!!! Wave to everyone you see or pass! :) Or at least try! Talk to people in the grocery store, or in line picking up coffee... take the time to stop. People are so happy down here, and you can tell they feel connected! Granted, I am in a town with a population of just over 800, but clearly I don't know everyone.... yet :)

On my third day I came home from a day tour of Warren County, only to find a huge quiche, a loaf of homemade bread, a famous "ridgeway cantaloupe", and a map of North Carolina sitting on my porch. What!?!?! I took them inside, unwrapped them and could not believe how phenomenal everything was. I checked my phone and had a message from my landlord's wife who politely gave me directions for what to do with the quiche.... I followed every one. She ended her message with "Welcome to Warrenton".

I have lived here for just over a week, and I already have dozens of stories about the people here who have made me feel so "at home." The new teachers and the police officers have made quite a bond, eating dinner together regularly at Warrenton's downtown pizza place! The first time we ate there our dessert was leftover birthday cake from a little boys birthday party! His mom insisted and continued to hand out pieces to everyone in the restaurant. I think that pretty much speaks for itself.

The people here are so kind, so loving, and even more welcoming... in a way I could have never imagined. They genuinely want you to not only love their home, but to make it your own.
The thing that makes me the most happy, is that people know why I am here. They know I am here for the kids in this county. To give them every opportunity, and every shot at reaching their goals. People here value education so much and they are unbelievably thankful for others who value it in the same way!

For those of you who have had the cynical thought that I am just saying all this so people will come visit me.... you are correct (in one sense)! I certainly am telling you this to make (or maybe a better word is "encourage") you to come visit... but the best part is that it is all true!! I think everyone should experience feeling so welcomed in a place like this. It is truly amazing.

“Each day offers us the gift of being a special occasion if we can simply learn that as well as giving, it is blessed to receive with grace and a grateful heart." - Sarah Ban Breathnach

A litte bit of history: 

Warrenton, North Carolina was developed by Mr. William Christmas on July 22, 1779. Warrenton is in Warren County, which was named after Dr. Joseph Warren, who was killed at the Battle of Bunker Hill. Warren County's main source of income was tobacco, and more revenue was found in cotton. 

http://www.warrenton-nc.com/history.shtml will take you to more information!!

The Courthouse: Downtown Warrenton, N.C.

The Hardware Cafe

Come visit and see for yourself. My house is always open! Must love dogs ;)

"Nothing is greater than this day" -Goethe

Blogging... the entire concept is a little weird for me... but I will give it a shot if it allows people a chance to catch a glimpse of...this.

I struggle to find anything to talk about except for my students. They are so strong, inspirational, inquisitive, vibrant. They rise to any occasion... literally ANY! I wake up thinking about them every morning and go to bed praying for them every night. They are my purpose. Simple as that.

This summer I taught twenty three 6th graders reading and math, in a 4 week summer school, in the good-ole Mississippi Delta. Carver Elementary tested the lowest of all elementary schools in the Delta, which as a region, tests the lowest in the state of Mississippi. As a state, Mississippi notoriously ranks lowest among any in the country. All but two of my students were in summer school for remediation. My students ranged in age from 11 to 13, some reading at a 6th grade level, others struggling with testing books meant for 2nd graders. Some could do long division, others broke off their erasers as they battled the simplest addition problems.

I went home and cried after my first day. Not because it was bad, but because it was great. Great because it was shocking, real, challenging. I had met my match. God had placed me. Put me here, at this school, for these kids. All of the work I had done throughout my entire schooling career...all the papers, tests, projects... were for this. To share the knowledge I had been gifted. The struggles I had been through, that made me resilient...persistent... fearless ... hopeful ... showed their immense value.

Education is a gift, one EVERY single child ABSOLUTELY DESERVES to receive. I looked at my students, and could not understand why they hadn't been given their gift. Why don't they have their own textbooks? Why aren't there enough desks? My kids want to doctors, business owners, moms, dads, providers, graduates... just like the kids sitting in private schools across town. WHY aren't they being given the same chance to realize their dreams, whatever they may be?
If you know anything about me, you know I can get pretty fired up and a bit intense... especially about things that impact the people around me and those I care about. Grow that by making those people ones that I love... and my STUDENTS at that. Needless to say, the fighting spirit birthed in my so long ago found itself right at home in my tiny, cinderblock classroom.

My kids laughed, danced, fought, cried, played... and begged to learn. On the first day of school we cheered... "What time is it?"... "GAME TIME"... followed by the most insanely amazing "power clap" ever. Power clap: rub your hands together really really fast to create a ton of friction... on the count of three make one loud "CLAP". 1...2....3.....CLAP! With those 23 power claps, it started....my journey began. Like a gun firing before a race. The only thing is, you start running, but you have no idea where the finish line is. No one told me there wasn't one, but then again, I always knew that.

That cheer, that clap, the residual laughter as my students giggled at their tingling hands... was the gun fire that told me to start running.

I am off and running, my students next to me (and several out in front leading the way). I am running a race without a finish line, next to 8,200 other corps members who have their students all around them. We feed off of each other, and we are all running for our kids. Why? Because someone needs to get them started. We start the race... teach our students the best strategies, most inspirational sayings, how to set big goals, to BELIEVE in themselves and their abilities...even when their muscles hurt...until they are running on their own... sprinting down their own path, towards their own finish line...whatever they dream that to be.

I am here for them...because it has so clearly been put on my heart as my purpose. I am so thankful for the gifts I have been given that allow me to be here, doing what I am doing. I am so thankful for the people who support me, love me, believe in me. I am especially thankful for the the people who ran along side me, and headed me towards my own finish line.

Off and running, ready to roll. New shoes, comfy clothes, sleeves rolled up, hair in a ponytail, and a spirit that CANNOT be shaken.